Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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