Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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