Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize