I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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