Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
