One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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