how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
