Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize