just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
