you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
