I heard we made out
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
