If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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