You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize