Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
