i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
