i don't like sucking hair
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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