hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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