the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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