I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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