Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think i scared a bird with my dick
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
