I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
