Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
