I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
it glows. i had to have it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize