Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
