I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
