i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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