Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
