he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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