I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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