Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
