I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
