Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
