there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
