well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
