he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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