apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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