bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
