too bad you live with your parents still
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
