I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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