I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
