wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
