i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
