We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
