Tell her she can't have a vagina
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
