my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
