Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
