I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
