.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
