I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
