I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
