mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize