I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
