i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
