I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
