She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Welp...herpes.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
