Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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