Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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