She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
