You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
